When I lose someone. Someone I love. when he break my heart. It's the hardest thing I could ever go through, and no matter what how much time has passed, it never really goes away. I may think that I getting better, but then I get a flashback or hear a song that reminds you of a memory, and it hits me all over again, all at once, like a stab in the chest. I fall apart, for the hundredth and I felt liked I just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. I love this person so much with all of my heart. Even though I know shouldn't. He hurt me worse than I've ever been hurt. He stole my happiness. But yet,  I still want him, and only him. Other people come along and give me chances to move on, but I know. I dont want to. It just made me upsets, that I might be moving on, because I promised to myself I never would. And even if he already broke some memories that I want. I still keep it, on top of that. I terrified, terrified of getting hurt again. But it's not like it matters anyway. At the end of the day. I still thinking about the person that I left plus I dont want to miss him anymore, I dont want to love him anymore. But I know I always will. Now, I felt lilked I miss talking to someone so badly because I miss someone but i know I cant so I just dont say or do anything even though I think about him all the time and I want to ask how he is or just hear his voice one more times. Worst feeling ever. Because it looks liked, stupid, desperate and caring too much to someone. Many people ask why I still love him after he left bad things happend to me? Because no matter how much he hurt me, but i still have a part of me who remembers all our memories. That were said. How whenever I saw him I still felt butterflies. I've tried to let go and I've acted like I'm over it but in the inside im dying. I cant even imagine how pathetic it  makes me feel. He seems completely fine or should I say happy without me. I still hurt and he has already moved on. I still sad and everything I do reminds me of him. I still secretly hope that one fine day he will start talking to me again but I also know that it will never ever happend. I compare every guy when I meet or know. But he's already forgotten about me but I still having a hard time letting go. I cant turn back the time when I decided to left you. Happiness. Love and all about you.  MY LIFE IT JUST BEING SO PATHETIC. CAN I JUST DIED OR HAVE AN ACCIDENT THEN FORGET ALL THE MEMORIES. We just strangers, with memories. Okay im sleepy, gooodluck to me for trial PMR tomorow, break a leg PMR candidates. Goodnight xxx tata take care. Thankyou readers.